Dear Hollywood (and The Society Based Off It);

What the heck is going on over there? Have you all become vastly aware of how incredibly unimportant many of you are? Sure, there are a few people who will be worth remembering because of what they brought to movies, or music, or television.

Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and even Billy Mays were bigger idols for their work than most of you will ever be.

Over the past few days, I've found myself reading celebrity news a lot more than I ever have. I'm following the whole Michael Jackson ordeal and I wore blue in honor of Billy Mays yesterday. But while reading all the new articles coming out about these people, I'm finding myself incredibly disgusted with the whole idea of Hollywood, fame, and fortune. The paparazzi are being relentless with the whole MJ event, talking about the "real" parents of MJ's kids.

Those kids' real dad was Michael Jackson. He raised them from birth. He tried to make sure they were happy while also teaching them manners and showing them parts of the world they needed to see. (Many of the photos where MJ is out with his kids are from charity events.) I read an article about the man who had to relay the news of their father's death to the children. They screamed and cried, Paris specifically saying, "No, Daddy, no!" She's 11.

Jon and Kate (of the Plus 8 variety) have also made me feel sick to my stomach. They literally just renewed their vows "to show their kids that they'll always be together." The fact that they're divorcing and that Jon is excited about the possibilites is twisted and sickening. Those 8 kids have just become a part of a terrible statistic.

I'm just so freaking disgusted with society right now. I'm sort of just cutting this blog off, but I can't stand to think/write about it anymore. It makes me sad and angry and sick.

Bye June! <3

PS: Because I KNOW the first paragraph could eat me alive later-- No, I'm not saying I'm any more important than those silly celebs. I'm saying they're just as insignificant as us "regular people" and that they're human too. Michael Jackson died, and therefore, anyone can. The End.

Away We Go!!

This movie looks freaking amazing. I saw the huge ad on YouTube, so I watched the trailer. I really liked the song they used for it, so I went to the official website to see if it had a music player.

HOLY COW. The music is AMAZING. Seriously. You have to go listen to it. Right now. But the movie only came out in select theaters, none of which are close to me. Sad face! :(

On a more serious note, RIP Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. You were both very talented and many people are in mourning. You've touched many lives and I hope you knew that you were loved by a lot of people. My recommendation: Listen to "Man in the Mirror" by Michael Jackson. One of my favorite MJ songs. :)

<3

The Sniffles

I feel so...broken right now. I just feel like there is so much wrong in the world, so much wrong in my life, and so much wrong in a fictional tv show. My heart is broken and I feel helpless.

And so incredibly alone.

I've cried more in the past few days than I have all year.

*deep breath*

<3

Slight Breakdown (In the Name of CHANGE)

So I returned earlier today from the first part of my freshman orientation at the university I'll be attending in the fall (CNU Captains woop woop!!) and came home to realize that this Sunday is my pastor's last one with our congregation.

Now to clarify: Pastors moving churches is fairly typical in the United Methodist Church. However, I've only really attended a church since I was 10. And the pastor that is leaving has been here throughout my high school career and is the one, I believe, who helped me become the person I am today.

The thought of telling him goodbye KILLS me inside and I just know I'll end up in tears on Sunday. And it'll be embarrassing because many people will be happy to see him go (I don't know why, he's the most Godly man I've ever met).

Freshman orientation was an overall positive experience and my schedule ended up working out (I'm taking a PHIL 200 level course!!) and I never got a roommate which meant dorm to myself! But it's just really hard for me to be going through all these changes at once.

The three changes that should never happen within the same week: High School Graduation, College Freshman Orientation, and a Cherished Pastor Leaving.

PS: Stolen by Dashboard Confessional is LOVE. <3

Bittersweet endings.

So yesterday was Graduation. The ceremony was alright and I never really got emotional during that. Then it was my Graduation party and cool people came and gave me presents. I loved loved LOVED BA, Soph, and Lil A's gift. It was wonderful and the letters made me cry! And I got tons o' money.

And I know this is probably because I'm PMSing, but whatever. I had this dream last night that I totally kissed a certain boy in this cramped truck (I have no idea why). And I woke up the instant after it happened and wanted to cry.

Marissa's party was fun. I laughed a lot. Took some of the bitter away from the bittersweetness.

I am a JF alumni. And a college freshman. OMG, I love it.

I think...

"That sense of finality."

Oh yeah, it hit me yesterday.

I cried after watching what had to be a kindergartener get off the bus.

Cause I realized I'm done. I'm never going back to that school again. I won't ever be subjected to this town's cliques and scenes. It's an odd, unsure feeling.

Kind of like everything's spinning out of control? And it's hard to catch your breath?

Inspired (Ben Folds and 3 AM)

I don't think of you as often
as I used to.
You're a vivid memory,
but a memory
nonetheless.
I wish you the best
but I'm not sure
I'll miss you.
Which is selfish
and wrong because
I always hoped
you missed me.
I tried to talk to you
as often as before.
But despite the fact
that you aren't far away,
you are far away.
Would you see me off?
In my dreams
at the very least?
I miss our dream
touches and kisses.
The ones that were
never meant to be
in reality.
This is closure.
This is a
(temporary)
Good-bye.

Omegle Awesomeness

What is Omegle, you ask? Well, it's basically chatting with strangers. Seriously. That's it.

Anyways, today I talked to this guy. And everyone's all, "OMG ERIN, YOU'RE GONNA GET RAPED DON'T TALK TO GUYS ON THE INTERWEBZ!!1!one!!!eleven"

First of all, TURN CAPS LOCK OFF. Second of all, we basically talked about everything except where we live and our actual names. I just realized we don't know each other's names, haha.

The point is, he seemed really cool or at least interesting. It's refeshing to talk to new people once in a while. And sort of develops my ability to socialize with people. I get the worst feeling I'll have a hard time making new friends in college. I'm just so incredibly shy... Sigh.

I can't wait for college, despite being a little nervous.

OMGZ, DONE

Well, technically, I have to take my AP Stats exam. But that just means doing cryptograms and showing up and getting a 100. All about it. BUT ANYWAYS.

I need to find a song to sing Sunday night and I need to memorize my verse for Friends for Sunday. What to do...

I'm so ready for Graduation. I have so much stuff to do though! Ca-razy. Sitting to next to preggers tomorrow. :/

I hate alphabetical order.

The good news is that I'm cleaning out my friend list on Facebook. All those losers I was forced to go to school with will now turn into vague memories. It's fantastic.

And also skipping the stupid referral rooms to hang out with James in the band room. We're pretty badass. xD

Byes! <3

Sunscreen! (One Day Reflections)

I am not perfect.

I make mistakes. I'm sorry for being human and needing sleep.
I got a referral with 3 days left of high school.

WTF?!